Anyone intent on becoming awesome at Japanese knows how much motivation, dedication, and work is required to go from zero to an ass kicking frenzy. You are proud of your hard work, and rightfully so. So when you get into the occasional and inevitable discussion with someone who just found out you speak great Japanese and “wished” they could learn it too, there are a few things you may hear that will make you cringe with an awkward “thanks…” smile.
These are the annoying phrases that take your mountain and turn it into dust. They belittle what you’ve done with just a few words. For the most part, the person who utters these means no harm. I understand this. But still…
7. I wish I had the free time to learn Japanese.
You are loaded with free time and free time by its definition means you will use it efficiently.
6. My brain isn’t wired to learning foreign languages like yours is.
You actually don’t have to make any effort on anything. Your brain does it all for you automatically.
5. If only I could have started at a younger age like you did.
Youth gives you special powers. It’s like taking a daily bath in radioactive waste. If you are young, nothing requires effort and you wake up being able to do anything.
4. I wish I had a Japanese partner/spouse/friend/family member
Having a native Japanese person close to you makes you absorb their Japanese speaking DNA just by being in frequent proximity.
It’s known in the biochemical world as:
C x nJ = aJ
Or for the non-science types:
Closeness X # of Japanese people = Awesome Japanese
3. If only I had the money.
The more money you spend, the better your Japanese gets. Otherwise why would Rosetta Stone be so expensive?
2. If I could only live in Japan like you did.
For those of you who have never traveled to Japan, when you get off the airplane they inject you with a serum to improve your Japanese abilities.
1. I wish I liked manga and anime as much as you.
It is an absolute Internet fact that all people who like manga and anime speak fluent Japanese.
Any other phrases you’ve heard why you were able to learn Japanese so easily?
Founder of Jalup. iOS Software Engineer. Former attorney, translator, and interpreter. Still watching 月曜から夜ふかし weekly since 2013.