You are about to study. This is you.
But you feel that cringe. Just thinking about doing a specific Japanese task is making your stomach churn. You really don’t want to do it. But you think (know) you should. So you sit down, yell some “fight!” slogans at yourself, and you bare through it. You finish. You feel relieved.
Then the next time, when you are about to study again, the familiar feeling returns. The cringe is slightly worse. It will be worse.
You can’t always do what is fun, but you should never do what you hate.
If you’ve tried something long enough and given it a chance, and it just doesn’t work for you, drop it. Can’t get through that one painful textbook? Get a new one. Bored to death of the J-drama series you are forcing yourself through? Stop watching it. You despise RTK? Get rid of it. Anki makes you bang your head against the wall? Set it on fire.
Now before you say you hate all studying, distinguish hate from a few other feelings.
These you will face. There is no way around them. Anything that is worth achieving will require these.
But they have rewarding results.
But hate? You know what that is going to give you?
Dislike of Japanese
Find your hate. Find your fun. Work with the in-between.
It’ll be a lot of trial and error to find the way you should be studying Japanese. Sometimes you’ll feel like there is no way for you to do it. You hate everything. Nothing works. It’s all resulting in failure.
But it’s just not true.
You can and will find your path. It just takes time. Not hate.