A Japanese Salaryman’s Underground Adventure

The life of a salaryman, an overworked and underpaid office employee, is not an easy one. But one man decides that he will escape his fate, his dull and uneventful life, and explore a side of Tokyo that not many get to see: the underground. It’s a dark and dirty world down there, but with a little determination, and a strong sense of adventure, there are no limits.

The first step in starting an underground adventure, is finding an entrance to the underground. You can’t just go around removing manhole covers from the streets and hop right in head first. You need to find a hidden place of entry. But hidden entrances don’t just pop up out of nowhere.

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Only someone with a keen and watchful eye would ever think about the possibility of climbing down here. Our hero has found his way in. With a slow and hesitant beginning, he ventures his way through the entrance.

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Street Gutter: Width: 35cm – Depth: 50cm

It’s a bit of a tight squeeze. But there is no challenge that a Japanese salaryman cannot overcome.

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As he goes deeper into this abyss, a question arises: where are you headed mysterious salaryman? Do you know something that the rest of us do not?

Let’s stop and get a few opinions on the street:

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“I can’t believe someone would enter a place like this.”

Obviously. That’s what they say about all people who are trying to start on an uncharted adventure.

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“Someone being in the street gutter is a little disgusting.”

A bit harsh?  You don’t know his motives and dreams.

But let’s ignore the naysayers and get back to the excitement.

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Moving through the city after entering through the street gutter entrance.

I see a man on a mission. With steam coming out of this nose, and a red face due to exhaustion.

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Traversing the dark bottom of the city can take its toll on the mind and spirit. He needs some fresh air and sunlight. He also needs to know where his current location is so he can navigate properly. After a short respite he will be ready to go.

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The power of the sun to rejuvenate. But he’s ready now.

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Okay, you’ve spent a little too much time resting. Let’s continue on.

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Mysterious movement

Of course there is mysterious movement. There is a salaryman explorer underneath the streets. Someone has spotted you. I told you that you shouldn’t be taking a break for so long.

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The woman called 110 (Japan’s 911) for help.

Some random woman doesn’t understand what you are doing. And she’s calling the police on you. Misunderstandings like this happen all the time. As long as you explain everything, I’m sure you’ll be back on your journey in no time.

the

He admits to the crime.

What?! Did you get nervous and say something strange?

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“Because I had a day off from work, at around 8am, I hid in the gutter and looked up women’s skirts.”

No . . .

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Arrest (Suspicion of violation of Hyogo-ken’s nuisance prevention regulation)

NOoooo . . .

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“Up until now, I have repeatedly been peeping.”

NOoooooooooooooooooo!!!

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In April, at the exact same place, he also received a warning from the police for peeping.

Why . . . ?

At least save some face. Please come up with a good excuse.

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He explained, “I dropped a 100 yen (around $1) coin, so I was looking for it.”

And so one man puts a taint on the beautiful, otherwise untarnished, Japanese salaryman reputation. It may be years before another explorer decides to take to the underground.

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Parody of an already strange (and slightly disturbing) news story from ANN



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Adam

Adam

Founder of Jalup. Spends most of his time absorbing and spreading thrilling information about learning Japanese.

Comments

A Japanese Salaryman’s Underground Adventure — 5 Comments

  1. Hahaha this article did not end up going where I thought it would. And oh my god… crawling down the street gutter to look up women’s skirts? That’s priceless! I thought the train groping and panty vending machines were pretty shocking, but this takes the cake for sure.

  2. I see that, just like the intrepid サラリーマン, this series is not going to shy away from exploring the darkest, dirtiest depths of Japanese culture (笑).

    And I really love the, hum, demographic choice that was made concerning the selection of interviewees…

    Great writing, by the way. I actually spoiled the punchline for myself since opening this with my tablet held vertically showed the peeping diagrams straight away, but I still found myself laughing at the well crafted text.

  3. If only they were to put all this inventive and determination to good use, the Salarymen could easily take over Japan. Seriously, sliding underground and laying down for who knows how long, just to get a glimpse of some random lady’s underwear? While I do not condone peeping, I can’t help but respect this man’s willpower. I will never understand Japan’s obsession with パンチラ (maybe because I was born in a country without skirts?), but if they can have a person go to such lengths, those panties are something to be feared.

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